A Tinder conversation: lesbians and spider webs

Dude:  hey sexy, my lesbian girl friend and me will go out tonight.  care to join?

Me:  Why are you telling me that she’s a lesbian?

Dude:  just ’cause 😉 😉  she’s hot though 😉

Me:  Are you telling me to let me know that you aren’t homophobic?  Because that’s awesome if you’re an open-minded person.

Dude:  hell yeah LESBIANS

Me:  Your lack of capitalization except when it comes to LESBIANS is quite troubling.

Dude: you wanna come 😉

Me:  And gay men?  How do you feel about them?

Me:  naw son not down with that some wrong shit

Me:  Do you mean being a homosexual is wrong?

Dude:  not if you got big titties 😉

Me:  What else have you got to entice me to go on this extraordinary date?

Dude:  I am all tatted up and am hung big dick baby.

Me:  I noticed the tattoos on your arms in some of your photos.  What other tattoos do you have?

Dude:  just got two spider webs

Me:  On your elbows?

Dude:  nah around BOTH NIPPLES ha ha ha

Me:  So basically you now look like you’re wearing a spider web mesh BRA all of the time?

Dude:  you down or not

Me:  Let me mull this over.  [UNMATCH WITH MUCH HASTE]

spider-1920-1080-wallpaper

Oh, what a tangled web we weave whilst single.

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