Stonewashed, pleated jean shorts cannot be worn ironically

Everything is all well and good ‘til that cute dude who loves Iggy Pop and the Stooges and reads Chilean literature and loves Chinese film auteurs as much as you do, ’til he shows up for the date sporting stonewashed, pleated jean shorts. Sigh. Stonewashed anything, pleated pants, and jean shorts are, separately, deal breakers. Together, well, it’s a tragedy.

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